Date: Mon, 11 Jul 2002 10:59:12 -0400
To: Randall Packer <>
From: Abe Golam <>
Subject: Prayer for Empire

US Department of Art & Technology
Office of Political and Economic Insecturity
Abe Golam, Director

To: Randall M. Packer, Secretary
From: Abe Golam, Director of the Office of Political and Economic Insecurity
Re: Prayer For Empire

Mr. Secretary,

As you are aware, the first Thursday of every May is our country's National Day of Prayer. The National Day of Prayer is a vital part of our heritage. Since the first call to prayer in 1775, when the Continental Congress asked the colonies to pray for wisdom in forming a nation, the call to prayer has continued through our history, including President Lincoln's proclamation of a day of "humiliation, fasting, and prayer" in 1863. In 1952, a joint resolution by Congress, signed by President Truman, declared an annual, national day of prayer. In 1988, the law was amended and signed by President Reagan, permanently setting the day as the first Thursday of every May. Each year, the president signs a proclamation, encouraging all Americans to pray on this day. Last year, all 50 state governors plus the governors of several U.S. territories signed similar proclamations.

If there was ever a time for our great nation to get down on its knees and pray, there is no question in my mind that that time is now. Mr. Secretary, just like we do not have to only give our loved ones gifts on their birthdays or during the holidays, but can give them at all times throughout their lives, I suggest we consider making the 21st Century our Century of Prayer. I propose we delete the National part of this program since prayer, as it relates to God, transcends national boundaries and besides, we all continue praying for what comes after national boundaries are wiped away, when there are no longer any borders.

Mr. Secretary, I propose that what comes after nations, what comes after borders, what comes after the welfare state so many of our corporations and NGO-sponsored culturati depend on, is something we are only beginning to understand in a political, economic, and social context. For what comes next, Mr. Secretary, is Empire.

Therefore, I would like to send out my prayers to our nation while pointing to a future world with no borders. Here then is my Prayer for Empire.

Prayer for Empire

Our Father Utopia and Our Forever Deceased God,

We praise You for Your goodness to our nation, giving us the appearance of Empire. With Empire we can turn sugar water into profits and software into gross national product. With Empire, we can turn soft core beauty porn into commercial advertisements and yet still claim the moral high ground for our economic production.

With Empire, we can infiltrate the bowels of the Everyman and insert a laxative of pseudo-leisure so that we may play the stock market and eat our mad cows with drooling rapture.

With Empire we can rid the world of nations and institutionalize a social bureaucracy of networked alliances determined to rid the world of borders.

Finally, with Empire, we can transmit our radioactive waves into the atmosphere of whatever geopolitical location that dares threaten the economic prosperity of our People as it attempts to annihilate whatever social difference there may be among us.

Lord, we know all is not right with America. All is not right in Europe, Africa, Australia, and Asia. We deeply need a moral and spiritual renewal to help us meet the many problems we face. We need to rid the world of the axis of evil, and in doing so, we need to find a way to cook the books so that the numbers play our way, making a mockery of hard work and the family values our friends in the government so often preach about.

We need more Modern Living magazines, more guides to successful email spam marketing, and most importantly, we need federal authority to outlaw homosexuality and the willingness of our popular criminal artists to conduct acts of sodomy on our mostly megalomaniacal and mechanical minds.

We need not practice what we preach. We need only preach what we want the television to transmit to our robotic brethren. For it is our nation of robot worshippers that reigns supreme. Our operating system is sanctioned by the One God of Code,

YOUR one code of greed and material lust, salivating Lord.

Convict us of sin. You may try - and try again. Throw us in the prison house of language and use your slow network connections to whip us into submission. Help us to turn to You in repentance and faith. Set our feet on the path of Your righteousness and grand expectations. And please, Dear Lord, give us back our stock markets!

We pray today for our nation's leaders. As the Christian elites who have always ruled over our country of robotic brethren, they deserve our fullest attention and trust. Give them the cojones, the balls, Dear Lord, to fess up to their corporate crimes and let us not lust after their model of avarice, instead, let us lust after their children so that the Church may molest their innocence before they mature into more sympathetic robots on the road to success.

You have said, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." This may not be America, in fact, it is no nation on earth - not Germany, not Iran, not Russia, not Microsoft. It is not Pepsi, it is not CNN, it is certainly not Austria. It is Empire, Lord, Empire to the Nth degree.

It is to Empire we pray, and in whose name we ask for permission to continue on this dark journey to end of the night.

Thank you, Lord.